Friday, February 29, 2008

What is Your Reality

I love reality shows

I do not care what people have against them; whether people think they are staged scripted or rigged, i just love them!!!

See, for me, a reality show captures a segment of real life and just makes you marvel
Depending on the format, you can either also enjoy some good old competition as well, or just marvel at human interaction (and not neccessarily in a good way).

I love 'So You Think You Can Dance' cos it shows the beauty of dance, and how graceful the body is, and just what it can be taught to do. Even though its about dance, you still see a module for real life there. Pretty people get more immediate fans for instance!
Seriously though, you see what difference pracitising and internalising lessons does to improve peoples style or execution. And then, you see that while training and perseverance and determination might count, those with a natural talent still stand out

Big Brother is also always a hit
Leave people in a house with no contact with the outside world, and nothing to do for three months and they will
- Talk about the serious and the mundane
- Gossip! Gossip! Gossip!
- Fight over who shd cook / clean / wash up / not litter
- Fight over anything, everything and nothing
- Shag like rabbits...or at least work towards that
- ONCE IN A WHILE, fall in love.

I woke up this random saturday morning though and the first two shows that came up were 'Top Chef' and 'The Bachelor'
Top Chef; beautiful
The chefs cooking up a storm and serving up fantastic dishes are usually crazy. If you do not beleive me, please watch an episode of Top Chef. You will never send a dish back again!

But the one that just amuses me to no end is this Bachelor

So, this hunk decides he is looking for a wife.
You're a hunk for goodness sake; how hard can it be???
But no o.
They get this hunk, and then they get some beautiful women to come and compete for his affection.He makes out with as many of them as he can, and they all swear they are in love with this guy who is using a televsion show as an excuse to be polygamous and a love rat!
Don't snicker oh; this is real life without the cloak of 'competition'
Do you know how much is going on right now in the life of a hunk you know? Shade and Kemi and Natasha and Joyce and Amaka and Chioma and Amina and Fatima and Elsie and Eno and Esosa and Osaretin are hovering around, competing for his heart in their own little way and he truly does let go off them until he has his final three
First of all, there are so many of them that he immediately narrows them down to those that capture his eye
Bye Bye Elsie, Bye Bye Esosa, Bye Bye Joyce.
Now, he lets go off those that are neither making an effort, nor enigmatic enough for him to want to convince them to
Bye Shade, See Ya Amaka.
It is not official, but he is 'seeing' all these other people and while they may not all know his friends, nor family, and he may not know theirs, he is going on pseudo-dates and kissing them all. Then he decides to downsize again.
Kemi, you got to go! Eno, it was fun...

Out television bachelor is also using this opportunity to kiss every girl on the show; and in interviews, the girls keep telling us just how much they are falling for him.

He is getting closer to some deadline in his mind so he realises he needs his top three!
Natasha laughs at his jokes and they like the same things; she also wears the best outfits so she is in!
Chioma likes to cook for him, and sometimes, even gives him massages. Definitely in!
Fatima is a bit reserved, but he thinks he likes that. Besides, when they do kiss...FIRE!

So now, it's time to let go of Osaretin and Amina

He meets Natasha's family and friends. He likes her mum, but wonders of he wants a brother-in-law that looks stoned all day
Chioma's friends are all sexy; err...
Fatima's family looks like they might be the intrusive type.

Our hunk still needs to let go of one more chic cos juggling the three of them isn't good on his pocket, and he has almost been caught so many times.
This is tough though; the decision can't be as easy as the previous ones.
Even our television bachelor, whose true love is in some quiet town at the moment wondering what the hell is wrong with him, is finding it hard to narrow them down further. Look, he even manages to shed a tear or two!

Finally, hunk decides Chioma has to go
He is now left with Sexy or Homely.
Wild or Nice
One ring, One first chance to say 'I Do'

I would love to tell you who he chose, but i would rather you wait for the last episode on THE HUNK

Tuesday, February 26, 2008


There was life without Facebook.

This is true because history tells us the cavemen did not facebook.

I however have no proof that there was life pre-facebook. It is almost like convincing me that there was life before Celtel.

(Or Vmobile. Or Econet)

So, ow Facebook is here and taking the place of actual human contact.

Why call someone? Just poke them!

Why email them?

Just send a facebook message!

And eh, we can even have cyber hugs, slaps, and gifts. There went half of my vals day gifts.


(Here is a little hint- YOU CANNOT EAT THE CUPCAKES!)

This Facebook seems to confuse some people though

They do not know what to do and when to do it

And here i am to the rescue.

If there is anything i know, it is Facebook. (And a bit of the law my father spent money to ensure i studied in Uni. Pity, i spent more time studying the freckles on Yomi's face)

1. When you get on facebook, PUT A PICTURE UP

You can put ur body, ur face, or even ur fingernail. But ensure that there is something other than that annoying Question mark up

2. Status updates are not just updates, they seem to now be a competition to see who is coolest, zaniest, and sometimes, more depressed.

You can think up witty things to say as your update; anything from 'Tosyn is thinking up witty things to say', to 'Tosyn is still thinking up witty things to say'.

Please note however, that it is not a good idea to tell us every single thing you are doing. As in, "Tosyn is in the bathroom.", "Tosyn is in labour"

3. If a guy says he is in a relationship on his facebook profile and he starts toasting you, then you should demand that he change it. do not listen to the excuse some idiot gave me that he did not know how to edit his profile.

4. If you were bad in your past, then be very afraid of facebook.

yes, those pictures and videos will come back to haunt you

5. The more applications on your page, the slower it loads.

The slower it loads, the harder it is for people to reach your wall

This might be good or bad, depending on how you feel about it

6. Everyone is on facebook.


Your colleagues, your bosses, and your girlfriend's best friend.

And they are watching

7. You do not win any prizes for how many events you rsvp for, how many groups you join and how many friends you have.

Ah, but look who's talking

8. Facebook is a social utility. It is great for making new contacts, finding new friends, and even doing business. Do not use Facebook to cyberstalk pretty people

9. Facebook is more fun during the week. It is a simple fact. So, if u have a witty update, save it for Monday mid-noon. If you write a fantastic note, up load it Sunday night and post it in the morning. Facebook is more interesting during the week because EVERYONE facebooks at work. If this worries you next time you go in for a Doctor's appointment, post a note

10. Some people have gone beyond addiction

These people facebook all night, and all day, and then write notes giving people random information about facebook.

These people wear glasses and frequently wake up in the middle of the night typing furiously

These people might need help, but it is good to still love these people anyway

Gongon Aso

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

What I Am Loving at the Moment... Feb 08

forgive me, it is just that i was born with a diva attitude.
I therefore assume everyone wants to know what i care about
Ah well!
Right now, i am loving...
It still hasn't changed oh
I have officially become a 9ice groupie.
I love GONGON ASO, everyone knows that, and if you like, i could send the lyrics to you!
But i'm almost protective of those lyrics, like i want to be the only one who knows them

9ice performed at AN EVENING WITH PSQUARE on Saturday 16th and it was lovely
You should have seen how people came to the stage, and he even jumped down and walked around and WE FOLLOWED!
And i think i might have done some yahoozee moves with him sef.

I am also loving 'Noone be like You' by PSquare
I really really really like that song.

Still have not seen anything impressive lately so... But i could tell you to see SWEENEY TODD. It is a dark musical
Go figure

Ha Ha Ha
At the last instalment, it was R.A.N.A
R and i have drifted apart
A and i still flirt at work
N is my good friend now
and A is not my favourite person and i do not care if he knows!

I am on another steez at the moment jare
And maybe i can tell you all about it soon.

This is a bunch of people in obe mould
To the High School clique
Here is to never passing that class!

I got to sit in VIP courtesy CENTRAL STATION (thanks to Bibi, Yegwa and Siji)

Its the next fundraiser for the Sickle-Cell project and features designers working with denim as a medium for their line

Cos no matter what happens at work, and no matter who says what, LIFE is still a gbaladun!

My life in blog

i once asked if Blogging was the loner's Dream
Apparently, blogging is much more than that

Not sure when blogging began, but i know that since Nigerians began blogging en masse, i have had people say to me, "Do you blog? You should blog"
And i would always say, "I do not have time, i do not use the internet like that, I already have a physical blog in GUARDIAN LIFE". Lol about that last one

The truth of the matter was, i did not blog...cos i was scared

Yesterday night, i took a stroll with a friend of mine, and we spoke about music. The question was, how much of myself do i put in my music?

When it comes to music, i put CON.tra.diction into it. She is not the whole, just a beautiful sum.
People think CON.tra.diction is a live wire, and maybe the crazy one. But she isn't. She is just a little bit of a diva!
Tosyn herself is all those things put together, and the scary thing about Tosyn is, she is HONEST.

If you ask her how she feels, she will tell you
If you ask her opinion on anyone, she will tell you
When she falls in love, she dances
When she falls out of love, she cries
Everything she feels, she is
And when she writes, it all comes out

So imagine blogging in the hands of someone like that?

I was worried that i would wake up one day and the world would know my deepest darkest secrets cos at some low point, i spilled my guts...
all of it
So i hesitated and smiled when people blogged.

Even now i read blogs; the most honest and deeply personal ones tend to be anonymous or psuedo-anonymous
Everyone else speaks about fashion and lifestlye and Tu Face

But one day i succumbed. All thanks to Bella Naija
I read her blog (and even subscribe) and was like, 'This is beautiful stuff'
She is one of my favourite bloggers. The other remains anonymous by choice

It worries me

So why am i still typing?

Friday, February 15, 2008

Mr. Never Was

Mr. Never Was
Sorta Was,
Almost Was,

What is it that makes you so irresistible?
WHat is it that makes you untouchable?

All the things that make you irresistible
Are all the things that make you untouchable

Love is never as deep as when pined for
Love is never as sweet as from whom not asked for

Loving you is the bitterest of all medicines

But i need it
I need it
I need it

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

A Li'l Harmless Flirting

And so St. Valentine's Day approaches

LAst year, i had a boyfriend and so i knew what valentines day would bring
And it was all things lovely, all things nice

Pre-boyfriend era, St. Valentine's day for me was a blend of pain, misery, depression, hope, anticipation, and stubborness.
I believed that one day, it would happen.

So it did, and for two years, it was like i thought it would be.

I knew there was val's day this year, but nothing sunk in.
I thought about it briefly in January when i thought 'A' was the most beautiful man i had ever seen; i wondered if he would call me as he travelled the world.
I thought about it again very briefly when i met 'A' who seemed to have flown all the way from the city of love and crime to be with me.
But somehow, the connection never clicked

It loomed, but it was not there yet, and i could not grasp it fully.

And then there was 'R'.
And i thought about it again.
And again.
Until i realised if it doesn't work, it doesn't work.
I still had not realised what Feb 14th was, or could be.
It had not sunk in.

Until a few jokes and a few plans made it sink in
This is Valentines day
It is the day several turn their nose at because they feel you do not need a special day to celebrate love.
What do they know?
Others say why commercialise something beautiful?
I say sometimes, beauty needs to be seen, touched and felt.
This is my first valentine's day as me now

I would love to spend this day with you 'A'
But you are not a part of me any more
Infact R.A.N.A,
I am good, till further notice.

This valentine's day will be spent in love
I will spend it with the one person who puts me first
I will spend this day of love being with love, unashamedly, forever patient, always faithful
I am spending valentine's day with someone i need to discover,
Someone i need to search and fall in love with all over again.

Welcome St. Valentine's day
I want to share it with ME

Friday, February 1, 2008

The fat and slim of it

I am wearing a white teeshirt and jeans

And when i left my house, i thought i was the sexiest babe to ever get on an okada

But i got to work and someone said very casually, "You have put on weight oh"

And there went my body confidence!

And this isn't the first time a casual remark has changed me from a sexy siren to a teletubby... at least in my mind.

You know what else i have noticed?

My mirror seems to show me exactly what i want to see

Let me explain.

When i was in my final year in school, i went through a sexy self-confident phase

It had soemthing to do with the fact that it was my final year and i would soon not be in that school any longer

I flirted with the guys, allowed myself be me, and found my style!

My hairstyles changed as my mood pleased until i began growing the dreads, i showed cleavage, wore short dresses, and basically realised a smile was the best accessory i could wear.

Back then, i didn't care what my weight was; i didn't even have scales anywhere at home?!

So imagine what it was like a few years later when for some reason, i lost weight.

And becamse slim and possibly fit

And heard,

"You looke better"

"You look sexier"

"You've lost weight"

blah blah blah

This came from people who knew me way back then!

And all i felt was,


Cos i never saw that

But suddenly, i would look at pictures of myself and see fat cheeks, big boobs, and double chins

And pictures of now seemed the perfect look.

I wonder what i will see though in five years time

Am i actually looking emaciated?

Back to today though

I now feel fat

Flabby stomach and big thighs

Is that what i am

Or is that what my mind has decided to see?

Who knows

I am not going to get on a treadmill though

And i won't put the doughnuts and cappucinos away

You know what, i want to be sexy

And maybe it truly does come from within