And so St. Valentine's Day approaches
LAst year, i had a boyfriend and so i knew what valentines day would bring
And it was all things lovely, all things nice
Pre-boyfriend era, St. Valentine's day for me was a blend of pain, misery, depression, hope, anticipation, and stubborness.
I believed that one day, it would happen.
So it did, and for two years, it was like i thought it would be.
I knew there was val's day this year, but nothing sunk in.
I thought about it briefly in January when i thought 'A' was the most beautiful man i had ever seen; i wondered if he would call me as he travelled the world.
I thought about it again very briefly when i met 'A' who seemed to have flown all the way from the city of love and crime to be with me.
But somehow, the connection never clicked
It loomed, but it was not there yet, and i could not grasp it fully.
And then there was 'R'.
And i thought about it again.
Until i realised if it doesn't work, it doesn't work.
I still had not realised what Feb 14th was, or could be.
It had not sunk in.
Until a few jokes and a few plans made it sink in
This is Valentines day
It is the day several turn their nose at because they feel you do not need a special day to celebrate love.
What do they know?
Others say why commercialise something beautiful?
I say sometimes, beauty needs to be seen, touched and felt.
This is my first valentine's day as me now
I would love to spend this day with you 'A'
But you are not a part of me any more
I am good, till further notice.
This valentine's day will be spent in love
I will spend it with the one person who puts me first
I will spend this day of love being with love, unashamedly, forever patient, always faithful
I am spending valentine's day with someone i need to discover,
Someone i need to search and fall in love with all over again.
Welcome St. Valentine's day
I want to share it with ME