No Air

I apologise

I know that by some standards, i have not been gone for so long.
But if you read my blog consistently, then you will know that it really has been a while in Tosyn Time.

I have not been able to blog because while i have been seemingly happy on the outside (the best parties, birthday week, s.h.a.r.ed weekends, meeting maybe him, etc etc), i have actually been unhappy and bordeline depressed for a few weeks now.
Writing helps, writing helps ease those demons out. But a blog is like a private public journal and i was not ready to share all that pain and darkness with you guys.

I wrote a lot however.
I wrote in random notebooks, i even wrote with my phone, saving text message after text message about how i felt.
It's been nerve wracking and heart wrenching. It has involved a lot of losing, i lost so much. Some i want back, some i am glad and grateful for, and others i am unsure of.
I pray that when the light at the end of this tunnel comes up, i would have grown.
I would have grown emotionally, and spiritually.
I pray i would have grown wiser and smarter and kinder.
And maybe taller.
OKAY fine! Wishful thinking!

It is not about you.
You make me happy.
God makes me happy. Very happy. HE makes it all sense...ALL.
He makes me happy.
But i cannot tell you about him yet... at least not without his permission!

Why am i blogging now?
1. I feel i should apologise to you guys for abandoning you without explaining!
2. I want to tell you about the fun things that have been happening to me, like s.h.a.r.e, Club Nomoreloss, Osagie, Music, Entertainment, Opportunities, and (i blush here)

I will be back.
In the meantime, two very important things
- MY SISTER started her own blog. She is older than i, but i am so proud of her! Check her out on
www.funkebucknor.blogspot.com
The girl wan give me run for my money dangit!

- I believe firmly, and know that next year, i will look back on this period and it would have passed. Therefore i give you these few words which make everything go-throughable.
Whatever you feel now, whatever i feel now...
THIS TOO SHALL PASS