Sunday, September 7, 2008

No Air

I apologise

I know that by some standards, i have not been gone for so long.
But if you read my blog consistently, then you will know that it really has been a while in Tosyn Time.

I have not been able to blog because while i have been seemingly happy on the outside (the best parties, birthday week, s.h.a.r.ed weekends, meeting maybe him, etc etc), i have actually been unhappy and bordeline depressed for a few weeks now.
Writing helps, writing helps ease those demons out. But a blog is like a private public journal and i was not ready to share all that pain and darkness with you guys.

I wrote a lot however.
I wrote in random notebooks, i even wrote with my phone, saving text message after text message about how i felt.
It's been nerve wracking and heart wrenching. It has involved a lot of losing, i lost so much. Some i want back, some i am glad and grateful for, and others i am unsure of.
I pray that when the light at the end of this tunnel comes up, i would have grown.
I would have grown emotionally, and spiritually.
I pray i would have grown wiser and smarter and kinder.
And maybe taller.
OKAY fine! Wishful thinking!

It is not about you.
You make me happy.
God makes me happy. Very happy. HE makes it all sense...ALL.
He makes me happy.
But i cannot tell you about him yet... at least not without his permission!

Why am i blogging now?
1. I feel i should apologise to you guys for abandoning you without explaining!
2. I want to tell you about the fun things that have been happening to me, like s.h.a.r.e, Club Nomoreloss, Osagie, Music, Entertainment, Opportunities, and (i blush here)

I will be back.
In the meantime, two very important things
- MY SISTER started her own blog. She is older than i, but i am so proud of her! Check her out on
The girl wan give me run for my money dangit!

- I believe firmly, and know that next year, i will look back on this period and it would have passed. Therefore i give you these few words which make everything go-throughable.
Whatever you feel now, whatever i feel now...


  1. "this too shall pass darl"
    whatever it is, hold on to God, cast all your cares upon God, let your heart be steadfast, dwell in Him and he will surely perfect all that concerns you.

  2. Heya wassup, its me the lil gal thats always pestering you!!! And im here to continue your blog is really cool, infact everything 'bout you is
    Saw you at Naeto's album launch and OMG!! I loved what you wore. Henyway sha gudnite o!

  3. So u stil dey on dis guy issue eh Tosyn?
    Look talk to God abt him and ask if he's d 'ONE'...
    if he is den happily take him as your one n only n let us kno who d lucky bro is....
    Denying love is not healthy for d me I know.

  4. Yes it was a looooong hiatus Tosyn time that made me expectant. It'll be okay, okay? Life is in phases. Don't let depression keep you from your next. BrownSugar loves you ... have a bear hug, Speechgirl.

    On the other hand, you've been awarded!!! Please see my blog for details. Congratulations!

  5. depression sucks......but then again everything can't make us happty all the time
    stay cool.............cos u rock big tyme!!!!

  6. Hey speeches! (day sounded nice :)) Saw u on Hip tv today ... First woman to drive a car episode. How u doing?

  7. u ended d post well but it largely depends on soon u let it pass.

    u re nt alone!

  8. u ended d post with d right words but it largely depends on how soon u let it pass.

    u re nt alone!

  9. Plsssssssssss come back:(
    This is an extra long Hiatus by tosyn time
    6 whole days
    It aint funny gal
    meanwhile your sis blog is quite cool

    Im waiting sha

  10. Sweetie -
    Everything happens for a reason. Though you cant see it now, this is going to be a stepping stone for you...moving on to better things.

    It shall pass of course as soon as you realize that it had to will grow, learn and become a better person from every single thing that has happened in your like. So let it go...don't regret it, learn from it.
    Any know where to reach me. Hold that strong head high and keep being Tosin or not Tosyn :-)

  11. awwww... yes... it must pass...