Monday, June 15, 2009

For Mama, Mama, She and Captain

I dont do death well

I don't mean my dying
I mean reacting to death.

I remember my grandmother died at the age of 90something
I loved that woman and had hung out with her everyday till she died. She told me stories, and showed me love. But she died and i didn't cry. I just folded clothes and cleaned my room.
Then one day, when noone else was home, i cried.

I went to Kogi this January to see Mama Ekundayo. She felt superhuman, like she should be packaged to keep encouraging others. I hugged her frail form and felt safe and ready to take on the world.
Then i heard she died. And i folded clothes and cleaned my room.
Then one random afternoon while watching t.v at home, i saw her picture and the tears came.

I lost someone dear to me. I can't tell you too much about her.
I smoked and drank, but even if you had asked, i could not have told you why.
Then one day i was driving and a song came on the radio, and i cried so hard that i had to park.

Now i don't know when Cousin Wole's tears will come. I loved him so much, and my dad loved him like a brother.
I cry more for my dad than for me.
Im blogging and eating, and texting and laughing.
But one day, the tears will come.
Forgive me if they come when you are there....

Thank you for being there
Thank GOD for HE knows best


  1. wow sweets i didnt know mama ekundayo died. would've loved to have met her.
    sorry about your cousin too. handle grief your own way loev. they understand. and the rest of the world doesnt matter. your feelings and how and when you show them are your own

  2. I don't know if I am supposed to like this but i really do.This piece is very well written and it translates your emotions well. Now that i have read this, I'll understand you if you cry although i hope it won't be on television. Sorry about your cousin. Take care.

  3. very touching...I feel you