I started work at a new place last week, and where i work, i have to play music and talk for five hours... Hmmn, sounds great! It WAS going great, until one fateful Thursday when i went on air, promised to play a song, played it, and then the rapper had an expletive on the verse. YIKES¬ I quickly changed the song, apologised and went on with the day, but the truth is, i still feel like that was my worst show because from then on, things went from bad to worse. You see, from 6-9a.m, i had been doing well, but once something went wrong at 9.15, i could not get past that and it ruined the show, and my day!
Or like when a relationship ends and we only focus on the negative; you know, what went wrong, why and how. And once that happens, we seem to forget that there was a time and a reason we were together in the first place! Then we claim we are heartbroken and stay rooted to a spot, unable to function! Or when we fail and exam and even if we passed all the others, we cannot seem to get over the fact that our report sheet is not perfect! Or when we mess up at the office, or in public, or have a fall-out with our friends, or make a promise and then break it!
There are so many ways and opportunities to get and stay grounded. Not the good kind of grounded where your head is not in the clouds, but the kind of grounded U2 sang about in their song- 'STUCK IN A MOMENT'. You are stuck in a moment you cannot get out of, and taking a next step, or even seeing that there is a next step to take, becomes impossible! As a wise man once said, the only reason a man commits suicide is because he no longer has hope. For as long as we know there is a light after the tunnel (and then another tunnel with light after it as well, and another tunnel...and more light, andother...), we know that even if we feel at our lowest at this very moment, we have to get ourselves together and take that step!
When do you take the step?
Do not let people rush you! People will forget how they handle their own moments and will throw all sorts of advice at you! The choleric will say, "Oh, get on with it!". The melancholic will say, "Life is bleak anyway!". The phlegmatic will say, "Really? You are still on this matter?", and the Sanguine will bound into the room and try to take you for a walk thinking that the more you walk, sing or dance, the happier you get.
Stay in that moment, that very spot, that same place, till you know you have to move. Then move!
How do you move?
You could write about it. Writing can be so therapeutic. Whether you make it poetic and award winning, or you make it honest, personal and private, just write! Be careful what you do with your writings though!
You could also listen to music because the truth is, for every emotion we feel, someone has felt it as well, and if we listen to their songs, they will be soothing!
You could also talk to people that have been there before and so know how to jump! Like how i immediately told Gbemi what happened and she shared her horror stories with me. That made me feel a little better!
And when all is said and done, remember your OWN experiences. It might not be exactly the same as you are now going through, but the certainty that there was a time in your past when you had fallen and wished the ground would swallow you, when you had failed, been heartbroken, been angry and done something silly, been hurt and afraid, and then made it through, assures you that this will also become a memory.
But one day.