Sometimes

Sometimes you wake up
Then go back right to sleep

You see, sleep is beautiful
And a great amnesiac

Sleep and forget
Sleep and deny

Its nice to be able to sleep and not think about how silly one feels. And sleep is great for those days one feels like a complete, outright failure!

It is the way i have been feeling lately.
Completely, and utterly like somehow, someone put their finger on my pause button, and now i must stay in one place. Not moving, not achieving, not exceling!

Now sometimes i like to write detached. Because someone will read this and try to list the reasons i should not feel this way.
That someone should please note that i know.
I feel i need three days to lie down and list all the reasons i am thankful and grateful, and then wake up and fly.
But today, i just feel stuck.

Failure is a funny thing.
It is defined first by others, and then by us.
You may see the richest man in the world and think he has achieved much. But that man might feel like he has done nothing, his money counts for nothing, and why can't he just be bloody Bill Gates? Steve Jobs? Dangote?

Speaking of which...
When i think about the money those on the Forbes list have amassed, i do not get depressed.
But i am sure the guy who missed the list by a thousand or million dollars is!

Even failure get levels na!

Jack(ess) of all trades. Master (mistress) of none.
Sometimes one feels one spreads oneself too thin
And why is one speaking of self as one?
eesh!

Seriously though...
Who am i? Like D Prince asked?
Not Omooba like he answered.
Although with the way titles and honours are traded these days, i could just get myself one!

The truth is, it is easy to think about the 'x's and the 'y's and what they have achieved and feel like a right failure.
To hate ones blog
To hurt at certain personal losses
To fret over ones age
To stare hard at ones bank balance
To wonder how she does it and what i do wrong!

Sigh

There are things that cannot be written, only thought.
There are things that will not be said, only reflected upon.

For every rung on that ladder of success, there is also another price to pay.

Ill tell you this much-
Life was simpler when all i did was wake up, eat, sleep and do it all over again!