If there is one thing i took away from my consultation with a (my) stylist today, it is that i am a ‘vase’. And no, that does not refer to something you put flowers in! Since there is no way you could put flowers in me. Water maybe, but not flowers.
But then i digress.
So, apparently, the ‘Vase’ body type is the body type that... You know what? I. Do. Not. Remember.
Cos i blanked out after she told me that contrary to what i had always believed (imagined, deluded myself into thinking), i. Did. Not. Have. Long. Legs.
Beauty is a funny thing. Your whole life can change at one seating, and your whole world can be rocked with three words or less. Or more. But more less than more.
I mean, how many girls have had one of those days when they have dressed the best. In their own eyes. And then they spend the day and night searching for compliments, but none come. And just when they cannot take it any longer, they ask someone how they look. And the person says, “Fine”.
Stab me while you are at it, you unable-to-string-more-than-one-word-together-friend/p.a/enemy!
But back to my consultation.
There i was at work when they came in, asking if i had more blue tones or yellow tones in my wardrobe. Look, i didn’t even know my wardrobe had tones okay!
And apparently, human beings are Autumn, Winter, and something else.
But i am Nigerian!
What happened to harmattan and rainy season and August break?
Orange or Fushia Pink>
Err... whichever one i take out of Funke’s wardrobe first?
And on and on it went.
By the time they sat me down, put some shades of colour on me and took my picture though, i could see what they meant! While orange made me come alive, fuschia pink made me look dead.
But you know i exaggerate right?
These are some of the colours that will suit you.
We will have a full profile typed and delivered to you by the end of the week.
Now let us measure you.
Which is when i realised i do not have long legs.
But the good news apparently is that i have good ..., a nice waist, and something else i missed, while smiling at the fact that my C’s where back!
It was fun though. Inspite of my moaning and resisting.
But i still truly want to know...
What colours are harmattan?