Saturday, May 17, 2008

Women in Entertainment

Why aren't there as many prominent female artistes as there are male ones?
Why aren't female comedians as well-known as their male counterparts?
Why does it seem that even in the entertainment industry, the great gender divide persists?

Well, i am a female in this entertainment industry.
On one hand, i am a writer who writes for a National newspaper and various magazines. As such, i get to cover all kinds of information, including entertainment.
Also, i have a music persona, CON.tra.diction, who is a singer / songwriter.
And lastly, i own my own companies that one way or the other, deal in entertainment currency. s.h.a.r.e is a social network, SPEECHgirl is a media and entertainment company, and Elenu Gba N Gba is a PR firm targeted specifically at celebrities and the red carpet!

I therefore feel i am a tad bit qualified to speak about what it means to be a female in this industry.

Is it that we are now as hard working as our male colleagues?
Is that we do not have a level playing field?
Why are we SEEMINGLY not as successful as the guys?

To be honest, i would never be in a discussion where i would ever say that women are not as hardworking as men.
So that would not be my take on the matter.
Instead, i would point out some things that may seem simple, but mean a lot.

It is a man's world; abi?
Which is why there are so many double standards.
Which is why, when a man sleeps with a hundred women, he is a stud, but when a woman sleeps with ten men, then she is a slut.
So, imagine a guy and a girl in the same industry, trying to handle the neccessary social networking that occurs. Sooner or later, the girl is going to be viewed with a certain level of disdain.
And of course, if a guy has to flirt with some women to get some work done, then he is charming.
The girl flirts?
or at least, TEASE.

And for music, how about lyrics and videos?
A guy talks about sex.
yeah, whatever.
A girl does and it's probably cause for a constitutional conference.
A guy has half naked girls dancing in his videos...
Cool vid dude.
A girl is half nude in her vid
Does she not have parents???

So, artistes have to do the craziest things to get their music out.
We record all night in the studio, we perform at shows that end at 4am, we go on road trips.
Well, at least, we try to.
Let us be honest; how many girls are going to get the permission (from parents, boyfriends, husbands, and even SOCIETY) to stay in a studio overnight, 'recording', to come back home at 5a.m after a show, to travel out of Lagos all the time?
For a long time, that did not occur to me cos my folks are pretty liberal. But i started gisting with some other female artistes (and this applies in journalism and other aspects as well oh) and opened my eyes sharp sharp!

Let us face it, guys can be... Bad.
And this is me putting it real mad; i am actually thinking of another 'b' word. But this is a P.G rated blog.
True story.
My friend records a song and gets signed to a management company.
The owner of the firm is friends with some guy who is in some company that organises shows a lot.
So this guy says, 'Do me a favour, let my girl perform at the show'.
And the FRIEND says, 'Sure, but the girl SEXY so i have to sleep with her first'.
I found this story to be so painfully funny.
I mean, COME ON
Are you kidding me?
But that is how the cookie crumbles.
There is a lot of sexual harassment out there.
And it takes a lot to stand your ground in this industry.

But i am in this industry.
And i have to be honest with you, i have great role models and friends to look up to.
She is not in the entertainment industry per se, but my sister is a driven, brave and innovative business woman and i have been taking tips from her (without her knowledge oh)
Bobby Taylor is into PR and she is passionate and fierce and driven.
Emem Ema is gearing up to be an entertainment mogul and she is so smart and focused, it's not even funny.
Osagie Osarenkhoe is a young, dynamic female who owns her own Management company already. WORD!

I love these girls, and i am glad that they do what they do.

For me, i would say that there are ... things i have learnt SO FAR. More lessons will come i am sure
- You are a woman.
Don't apologise for it. But don't dwell on it either.
- Shake hands firmly, maintain eye contact, and don't be the girl whose head they want to pat; be the girl whose opinion counts.
This rule is harder for me. I swear, i am a typical daddys girl and i am so used to all that feminine wiles b.s. I like to bat my eyelashes, and speak like a little girl. But now, i am learning to show that i am cute, but maa mi, i can do business as well
- Respect yourself.
Yes, you will have crushes and fall in love, but you do not need to sleep with all the guys on the football team to get ahead. learn to seperate what you do genuinely for 'love' (lett us all throw up collectively), and what you do so you can get your name in the paper!

Like i said, these are the things i have learnt so far, and i am still learning, falling and starting all over again.

Tosyn Bucknor
Remember me as an individual.
Remember me as a Yoruba, Lagosian from Nigeria
Remember me as a woman.
But remember me as TOsyn


  1. I think you are doing a very good job and represent us women...the way we truly are and want to be seen...

    I believe women in entertainment and other fields in Nigeria have come a long way from 5 years ago....big ups to us!!!

  2. I'm impressed a woman is finally bringing out her voice vis-a-vis d nigerian entertainment industry.

    keep it going girl!

  3. I see you have the good ole boy system over there too. Sucks.

  4. at times the 'really-silly-girl-in-me' doesn't want/like to buh-liv! some stuff do happen
    its sad n pathetic too!

    i do hope that other girls who aren't as strong as u get to read this n get polished n stuff
    u ought to share it with every everyone

    u'll always be known as tosyn not jus remembered

  5. Women are strong, smart and hard working. I cant imagine how devasted de r wen de put in all dia efforts and some1 rates dem on how much skin u can show or who u sleep with. Thank God for voices like urs who will try to continue to fight d industry and stop d trash dat ignores d talent and focuses on d sex. Good job Gal!!!

  6. hi tosyn, it's florida. i never did happen 2 return d form i filled 4 a program u were putting together. feel so guilty, particularly seeing u in blogville. howdy?

  7. it's a lot of challenge 2 b a female. hmmm. it's well though

  8. good n true write up, i must say. I've been thinkn along those same lines 4 a while now. glad sm1 finally got out d words 4 all n sundry 2 read.
    hi gal

  9. I think women are doing excellently, its all about endurance and of course, media coverage. meanwhile, speechgirl, brilliant piece!

  10. i sooooo feel you on the double standards! i am not in the entertainment industry but my field is not any different. i am more science (research) and it isnt any different. you get to a certain stage and you're surrounded by men. i am thought of as less than a woman because i choose career over family (i can hear the girls murmuring angrily already). i plan to do an md/phd and then a postdoc which takes abt 7-10 years to get through. for a guy that WOW! he's dedicated. for me, its "you're a woman, go and marry". yes i no u're nodding in agreement you! its just a man's world no matter what you're into. :((

  11. Good job girl. Honestly Tosin love all the way!!
    Emen and funke are my role models as well.
    Is there really a way to change the double standards of society? I would like to believe so. sigh



  13. Girl, you know i have always been proud of you.I particularly love women who know where they are going in life and do it.Mind you not over ambitious ones that lose their feminimity in the process.
    I must admit i haven't fully read the article, will do so later
    But as you mentioned a double standard world. Women enjoy things men do not, even in our EQUAL WORLD

    A man and his wife have an argument, even if she is the one that is wrong, he is still the one that sleeps on the couch.

    If a woman slaps a man while having a row for insulting her no one says anything. If a dude does the same thing , several knights in shining amour show up to her rescue.

    Women do a lot better at sales or closing accounts, without having to say anything, or do anything simply cause my male counterparts have that stupid feeling below the belt.Y'all have that power over males.

    Back to the point
    Asa is doing major things
    Yourself and Aladese are making waves.

    Maybe im running my mouth and need to finish reading the article first.

    Im not justifying any of my examples, but i'm saying women got it made in some little ways you seem to take for granted

  14. er..i confesss i dint finish reading goin back

  15. Ever heard of "penis power?" well, these days men are sleeping their way to the top...and you all know they would have to break their waists...hehehehe

    I swear, I know a man that is "climbing" his way up...I am not joking....

    The most important thing is for the woman to be aware of herself at all times. Some may call you a bitch, some may call you rude, some may even say you an "ashewo"(that over-rated insult that makes us all tremble with fear)however, you are only what you believe yourself to be.

    Rock on! The world is big enough for everybody, it is not a man's world, and if he insists on not getting out of the way, a little shove would not harm, abi?

  16. bravo!! dat was amazing...respect urself...dont apologise for being a woman..etc etc....i feel u dude!!!sorry chic!!!(wink)

  17. @waffarian:yes ooo i agree

  18. Well, Tosin. I have never apologised for my gender. Being stern and business like has only made people think I'm masculine; but I really dont care!

    Well day, the tide will turn.